Maybe it's because of the crummy, cold weather invading our lives. Maybe it's because they're sick of each other. Either way, these kids of mine, who are supposed to be sweet and loving have been nothing short of little terrors. They're running through this house arguing, fighting, bickering. Whatever word you choose to give it, that's what they have been doing.
Lets be honest. When a mom has a few days in a row that are full of chaos, sometimes she holds it together with grace and love and sometimes she morphs into an insane, vicious and ugly monster. I have to say, the last few days, I've had more ugly monster moments than graceful loving moments.
Once I lie my head down at the end of the day, my brain refuses to leave me alone. The thoughts of guilt pile on so thick it feels like I can breathe, let alone sleep. Those are the nights where I end up with a measly 4 hours of sleep. How is a mom supposed to be a graceful, loving mom when she has had such little rest and a night full of paralyzing guilt? What do we do with that guilt?
2 corinthians 7:10 says that guilt can do one of two things. If it's a Godly guilt it will lead us to repentance but if it is a worldly guilt it will lead to death. So ask yourself when you lie down at night, is that guilt going to make you a better mom and lead you to the feet of God or just tear you down?
Most of us can probably agree that the guilt we experience after a rough day(s) with our children usually isn't a God given thought to lead us to repentance. It's in those moments that I reach out to my husband (Dan) for help. See, this is something I struggle with at least once a week. I have to wake up my husband, tell him what I feeling and ask him to pray for me. I need his leadership to bring me back to the feet of Christ and remind me that my failures do not surprise God. Dan often reminds me to take my thoughts captive (reference from 2 Corinthians 10:5) I have to literally picture myself grabbing my thoughts and putting them at the feet of God. There is no better place to go in those moments of mommy guilt but in the arms of the one who is the author of peace.
Have peace of mind in knowing that you are doing your best. You WILL fail. You will let your children down. You will let your husband down. You will NOT let God down! Let him meet you where you are and let him help you clean up the pieces and start fresh in the morning.
Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
Lamentations 3:22-23
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